0 This book essentially takes "The Three Little Pigs" and turns it into "War and Peace".
0 Much of the story sounds as if it were written by "the famous British Historian" in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and the book is fraught with Python-esque humor. There is much stuff British language.
0 A progressive leftist would probably self-immolate after reading just the prologue. And there is much reference to Church and faith. The "Author" occasionally launches into "conservative rants".
0 A sub-theme of my book is to work in as many "50-cent-SAT" words as possible.
0 Contains a plethora of British slang, some history, etc.
0 Story is set in "Ewing Forest" during Medieval times.
0 Almost all characters are dogs, cats, geese, etc. with a few humans worked in for added effect.
0 The tale is literally fraught with anachronisms.
0 I am looking for illustrations to further enhance the book's appeal. The opportunities for illustration are innumerable, so choices will have to be made/negotiated.
0 It is my opinion that this book could be, for the right person, a break-out opportunity and a chance to show off.


In this book, it is not appropriate to simply say that "the pie was burned". Instead, we must "enhance" the description of such an event as follows...

April coughed and sputtered her way through the smoke to remove the charred mass from her oven. Defogging her bifocals with the corner of her apron, she stared in wonder at the blackened concretion; which apart from its round shape and general size, bore little resemblance to a pie. It appeared instead, to be more of an ill-conceived culinary experiment gone awry, the smoldering carcass of an ill-fated foray by a pyro-maniacal Parisian crepe chef into the fiery realm of what would many centuries later come to be known as flambe style cuisine.

Regarding pay:

This is dependent on any number of factors. I am not looking for quickly rendered water color, with scant detail. Looking for more of oil paintings which capture each scene and rendered as if painted by one of the masters! Time is a factor as well. The tale has been copyrighted and I am in discussion with a publisher. What I need is for an applicant to read a chapter and make an effort for me to evaluate. Show me what you can do!


I am writing under a bogus name and do not wish to reveal that name. If this is a problem, I guess this was a waste of time.