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Zack Lipovetsky - Freelance Fiction Writing & Script Writing
0
Kudos
3.0
2 Skills
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Rate/Hr
The following is a writing excerpt from my novel "The Comedian" "“Off the bat, I just want to say that this is going to be a long joke about Starbucks. In fact, it's almost my entire set because it's Starbucks and there’s a lot to say. So, anyone here actually go to Starbucks?”“Yeahhhhhh,” half the crowd replied over the sound of clapping. “Jesus Christ calm down, its not a competition,” I replied. “Ever go to Starbucks in the morning or in the afternoon or how about at three a.m.? It's always packed isn’t it? I don’t know where all of these people come from. You can be at a Starbucks in Deadville, Missouri on Christmas morning with a hurricane one hundred feet away with cows visibly circling around and still run into a Brooklyn hipster writing something ironic and witty in his precious forty dollar mole skin notepad that he bought at an underground vintage store or a business executive switching off between texting and yelling into his blackberry (audience claps). Jesus Christ, Starbucks is to hipsters what my eight year old nephews ***** is to my uncle ralph the *********.” Loud claps resonate through the air for that one as I sneak a peek at Sasha to see how offended she is at that last joke only to witness her smiling sheepishly back at me and appeared to be enjoying herself. “So far so good,” I mutter to myself before continuing. “And before you actually sit down, you want to make sure that it’s a good seat of course. You know you want that seat by the window and near the outlet and there's always only one seat like that at every Starbucks that I have ever been to so everyone is always fighting over it. You need that outlet so that you can plug in your blackberry, blender, kindle, laptop, vibrator and iphone, all in one socket and the fun naturally follows because we are a consumerist society and we want it all and want it all right now while sitting near the window so that we can look out and look at the poor schmucks don’t have it all and laugh at them. “Now, lets talk about the homeless population that resides at Starbucks. In case you didn’t realize there is a group of homeless people, actually let me rephrase that, there is a gang of homeless people and they usually take up the biggest table in the place. They always do all sorts of weird things there. For instance, instead of doing homework or something, they roll cigarettes (big laugh from the crowd) instead of reading a book, they play cards and talk about smoking crack and they drink more coffee in one sitting than I have ever seen anyone drink in my entire life. Coffee refills are only about thirty five cents so they end up literally sitting there all day drinking coffee. I watch them do this. They pack it with sugar and milk, they use about thirty six sugar packets (more laughter as I can see the audience sitting up in their seats waiting for the punchline). I am pretty sure that coffee is their breakfast, lunch and dinner. Whats for desert? Crack. The funniest part about this is that they usually crash in the evening around six pm from drinking so much and they pretty much all just start nodding out right in the middle of Starbucks forming a barrier of discomfort for paying customers. They are all wiggling and stretching in their wooden chairs making all sorts of homeless people sounds (one guy laughs harder than anyone else and I look at him quizzically which causes the rest of the audience to laugh harder) trying to get comfortable so that they can sleep. And of course the Starbucks workers are certainly not going to kick them out. Are you kidding me? You think that Brooklyn hipster, straight edge vegan Elizabeth would ever say 'excuse me sir, you can't sleep here and please conceal your crack, this isn’t Dunkin Donuts.' No of course not, the homeless gang does whatever they want there, and truthfully who doesn’t enjoy the smell of urine over organic fair trade coffee anyway?” (huge applause as some people stand up and clap and some people are close to falling from their chairs). The clapping continues in slow motion as some people try to compose themselves from coughing fits and catch their breath. I breathe it all in for as long as I can have it. Their laughter is a drug to me; far more potent than anything I have ever had before. I soak in being king of the room for a few seconds before the noise begins to die down and I realize the amusement must continue. I have to go on dancing for them if I want to have their laughs.
Monsey, New York, United States
Dorothea - Freelance Creative Writing & Resume Writing
0
Kudos
3.5
2 Skills
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Rate/Hr
Good Afternoon, My name is Dorothea. I am seeking a fun, engaging part-time home job in the blog/writing/proofreading, and/or entertainment area. I was an Editorial Assistant for almost 9 years and thoroughly enjoy proofreading and have the "eagle eye" when it comes to reading contents. I also enjoy interior design and enjoy decorating for corporate parties, holidays and every day. I look forward to hearing from you to discuss how my professional and creative skills, humor, and dedication can work for you! Regards, Dorothea
New Jersey, United States
Aazi - Freelance Graphic Design & Poster Design
0
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
$20
Rate/Hr
Azadeh Rastadmehr 66 Forest Maner M2J1M6 arastadmehr@yahoo.com • 416-8287521 Graphic Designer Summary of Qualifications • Over 10 years of commercial Graphic Design experience • Experience in designing logos, brochures, business cards, posters and catalogues • Knowledge of and experience with 2D web design using Photoshop • Expertise in Typography Design; experience with Movie Title Design • Proficiency in Photoshop and Corel DRAW • Proficient in hand drawing and sketching design concepts and ideas • Self-motivated, creative and artistic • A team player; organized, reliable, thorough and able to prioritize and complete tasks within timelines Professional Experience Graphic Designer (Freelance) 2003-2014 • Designed company logos, business cards for various types of companies • Designed cinema posters, brochures and catalogues for auto-parts • Performed 2D web design using Photoshop Lecturer 2006-2014 Girl’s College of Art Karaj, Iran (2007-2014) Azad University of Shahriar, Iran (2008-2011) Azad University of Roodehen, Iran (2006-2009) Azad University of Varamin, Iran (2006-2009) • Taught design related courses such as Poster Design, Illustration, Catalogue Design, Computer Graphic, Photoshop and CorelDRAW to college and university students • Demonstrated designs to students via computers or papers for illustrations • Assigned homework to students, corrected, scored and provided feedback and suggestions on their designs • Encouraged and prepared students to participate in design competitions and exhibitions Education M.A. in Illustration 2007 Azad University of Tehran, Iran B. A. in Graphic Design 2001 Azad University of Tehran, Iran References and Portfolio • Available upon request
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Edwin Tang KwokYin - Freelance Illustration, Storyboarding, Caricature Art, & Comic Art
7
Kudos
4.5
4 Skills
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Rate/Hr
I've been freelancing as a professional digital illustrator and storyboard artist since 2001. Other forms of commercial art services I provide are animatic (drawing), conceptual drawing, character design, visual art for presentation...etc. As an experienced illustrator, I can deliver fast, accurate and professional services.
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Joe Queally - Freelance Comedy Writing & Comic Writing
2
Kudos
3.0
2 Skills
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Rate/Hr
I'm 22, from Boston. I am soon relocating, I have a place lined up in both cali and fla. I just graduated with a degree in History and I’m currently running financial planning practice in Quincy MA... Go figure. I do small stand up gigs all over Boston. Comedy is something that i fell in love with immediately. My job suffers because I come up with an idea and end up writing for hours when I should be working. I am truly passionate about comedy and i am willing to give up anything I now have for a shot at making a legit run at a career in comedy to almost any degree. While comedy is my first love I have always had an affinity for writing. From poems to short stories to sketches, and I am even working on a novel and a screenplay. I was never an A+ student but when it came to writing I would constantly impress teachers and score highly on standardized testing. If I could combine my love for comedy and my skill for writing into a career I would be the happiest man on earth. I have come to the realization that now is the time of my life where later regrets are born, I want to follow what feels right no matter how illogical. I would attach my resume but I’ve really never done anything relevant. Anyways that’s my piece l all I ask is the chance to prove myself.
United States
Patricia Cornejo - Freelance Video Editing & Video Production
0
Kudos
4.5
2 Skills
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Rate/Hr
Dear Sir / Madame My name is Patricia Cornejo; I have worked professionally in the media industry 7 years. I developed my career in UK, working in a production company 3 years, before I worked in TV stations in Spain. The majority of my previous works has been in post production, using Final Cut, After Effects, Avid, Combustion and Photoshop. I would welcome the opportunity to comment and meet with you to discuss how my skills and experience might benefit your company. I enclose my CV and link to my web with some of my latest works. Many Thanks Yours Sincerely Patricia Cornejo Bauer Mob: 0034 691837088 email: info@patriciacornejo.com www.patriciacornejo.com
Spain
Priscilla Lancaster - Freelance Art & Real Life Painting
7
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
$20
Rate/Hr
As an artist, my main goal is to create art work that reflects the details we often overlook in the human existence. I specialize in painting and drawing humans and the details of what makes the human skin, body ,mind and soul beautiful and vulnerable. In focusing on texture I build up various mediums to create a realistic effect that goes beyond what our human eyes are capable of seeing. My favorite mediums are watercolor and color pastel. However I experiment with Indian ink, acrylic paint and oil Paint for a layered effect. Focusing on the innermost parts that make a structured human figure drives me in the creative process. The small details and patterns of the human are very important in the finished product of the piece . In addition my artwork can be taken in abstract dimensions because of the many techniques and textures used to create the the finished product. In all I aim to bring about emotion and depth in my artwork that may help the viewer to see how fragile, beautiful and unique we are. We are all master pieces that contain flaws and marks that should be examined with a keener eye. I can create any commissioned art piece.Looking for that perfect painting?I can make your idea's come to life in my paintings.
Santa Monica, California, United States
Carl Spunde - Freelance Graphic Design & Ad Design
38
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
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Rate/Hr
Carl E. Spunde 219 West Linebaugh Ave. • Tampa, FL?33612 813.933.1047 (home) • 813.601.3149 (cell) cspunde@tampabay.rr.com Experience President - I/O Design Group, Inc. 1989 - To Present • Small business owner. Responsible for customer service, graphic design, scheduling of jobs, mechanical art, photography and photo retouching. Production Manager - Paradigm Communications 1987 - 1989 • Responsible for scheduling and tracking of jobs • Coordinated schedules with creative, copy writing, graphic designers and mechanical department • Worked with clients as an adjunct for the Account Executives • Estimated print costs and coordinated outside services • Prepared final costs for accounting Production Manager - Tampa Bay Business Journal 1984 - 1987 • Responsible for the production of the weekly newspaper • Met with advertisers to create spec ads for the advertising sales department • Managed 2 additional artists for ad production and provide final layout for printer • Participated in all corporate meetings and mangers meetings Production Manager - Image Craft Printing 1982 - 1984 • Responsible for day-to-day operations of 3 shifts of employees in pre press, press and bindery • Estimated print costs • Coordinated all outside services • Customer relations and coordinated delivery Pre Press, 4/c ******** - Thomas Printing 1980 - 1982 • Responsible for stripping negatives for all print jobs, including 4/color process jobs • Prepared colorkeys for proofing purposes Press Operator - Thomas Printing 1978 - 1980 • Operated a 36” single color Harris press Education BFA University of Florida - Split major Photography and Painting Computer Skills • Proficient on the MacIntosh in QuarkExpress, Illustrator, Photoshop, InDesign, Numbers, Keynote, Pages and WordPress
Tampa, Florida, United States
Chi - Freelance Digital Art & Art
1
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
$25
Rate/Hr
I've been learning fine art for several years, so I have really good skills on drawing and painting and I can do them efficiently. I also very good at Photoshop. Please refer to my portfolio, thank you.
Brooklyn, New York, United States
Josephine Daly - Freelance Editing & Admin Support
0
Kudos
4.5
2 Skills
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Rate/Hr
EDUCATION Loyola University Maryland Baltimore, MD Major Art History, Minor English Degree earned May 2012 WORK EXPERIENCE Center for Victims Pittsburgh, PA Administrative Coordinator July 2012 - Present • General office operations including document management • Assisted in preparation of smaller grant proposals, compiling various forms and writing supportive material • Worked with the development department in organizing major fundraisers, such as the Highmark Walk for a Healthy Community, Golf Event Benefiting Center for Victims, various Remembrance Services and more • Answered all incoming calls to the agency, assessed need, and routed to appropriate staff/department • Maintain several complex data bases, including staff phone numbers and information • Accept and sort all incoming mail to various departments • Oversee the use of Hearing & Deaf Service Machines • Organize all trainings that are held at Center for Victims, making sure all materials are supplied in an orderly fashion • Transition new employees into the Center for Victims system • Maintain up-to-date agency information about Center for Victims on the internet and other locations • Center for Victims Board of Directors liaison Andy Warhol Museum Pittsburgh, PA Intern Summer 2011 • Created a mock show exhibition submitted and critiqued by head curator • Assisted operations staff Offices of State Senator Jay Costa Pittsburgh, PA Intern Summer 2011 • Worked on constituent projects and requests • Participated in outreach events Loyola University Maryland Fitness and Aquatic Center Baltimore, MD Lifeguard January 2010 – May 2012 • Oversaw the day-to-day functions of the Aquatic Center • Monitored patrons in the Aquatic Center Whitehall Borough Pool Pittsburgh, PA Lifeguard June 2009 - August 2010 • Oversaw the day-to-day functions of the Aquatic Center and maintaining correct chemical levels • Monitored patrons in the Aquatic Center • Taught Swim Lessons, Public and Private Grogan Graffam PC, Law Firm Pittsburgh, PA Assistant to Paralegal June 2008 - August 2008 • Oversaw organization of settlement and dismissal information for mass filed law suits; obtained necessary data and created schedules of affected cases • Determined discrepancies contained in suit disposition materials received from different sources and prepared analysis of discrepancies Paper Street Press Pittsburgh, PA Intern June 2007 - August 2008 • Organization of all subscriptions and entries to the magazine • Minor approval on works selected for print • Maintained complete database EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES Loyola University Maryland Chamber Ensemble January 2009 – May 2012 Baltimore, MD • Prepare and perform an array of pieces each semester Loyola University Maryland Chapel Choir accompanist August 2011 - May 2012 Baltimore MD • Accompany the chapel choir during daily mass • Accompany the chapel choir in various holiday concerts Music Pittsburgh, PA and Baltimore MD • Enjoy playing the violin; took private violin lessons for 16 years • Continue playing for small groups around Loyola University Maryland • Member of Three Rivers Young People’s Orchestra throughout high school • Vice President of high school orchestra, and participated in music academy theory classes for 12 years SKILLS • Knowledge of Microsoft Office Word, Excel, Power Point, and Publisher • General office management • Certified in CPR, AED, lifesaving and first aide
United States