Freelance Comedy Writers : Canterbury

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Ken Usmar - Freelance Blog Writing & Comedy Writing
0
Kudos
4.0
2 Skills
Ask
Rate/Hr
Freelance writer/journalist/blogger. I write anything from magazine articles to music reviews to opinion pieces and satire. Have written for new sorganisations glossy magazines, specialist music publications and farming publications. Environmental issues are a speciality as are horticulture and home gardening.
Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand

More Freelancers

Larrie Funk - Freelance Consulting & Commercial Photography
0
Kudos
4.0
2 Skills
$55
Rate/Hr
Larrie R. Funk Senior Technical Writer/Editor Dear Sir/Madam: Yes, I would definitely be interested in the position provided you are amenable to my situation as enumerated below. Please find attached below a copy of my resume. (A more detailed version is available upon request.) Due to the fact that my wife is disabled and I cannot leave her alone for long periods of time, I am basically seeking work I can perform from my fully equipped and capable home office. I have worked on a freelance basis for a large number of years and feel there is no reason why this assignment could not be accomplished via a telecommute basis. With regard to client meetings, they could also be accomplished via teleconferencing if necessary. However, an on-site presence on my part is not totally out of the question as long as I did not have to be there more than 5% of the time and your company is willing to pick up the commuting cost. I am very familiar with all of the Microsoft Office programs and Visio as well as RoboHelp, Quark, Photoshop, FrameMaker, SnagIt, and Adobe Acrobat software, to name a few of the programs I use most often. I am also very experienced with both the MAC and PC platforms. As a result of the vast amount of time I have been in this profession and the large variety of projects that I have completed successfully for numerous companies/individuals, I feel that I would have absolutely no difficulty meeting the requirements you set forth in your webvertisement. I have taught classes using the manuals I have developed as the curriculum. And, I have also worked in customer service for other companies. Therefore, I look at writing as a form of customer service because the writer is trying to aid the customer in performing/understanding a task. Although I may not be a 100% match for your ”ideal candidate profile”, I do feel that my abilities would lend themselves to your particular publication endeavors as well. In my opinion, a competent technical writer is an individual that can take a complicated dissertation and translate that into language the average individual with anywhere between a PHD to a sixth grade education can understand and fully comprehend. Depending on the needs of the audience, this is what I endeavor to do in all my writing assignments. Currently I edit a monthly newsletter for a Doctor of Chiropractic and Homeopathy. And, I have also edited lecture presentations for this same individual. I have recently completed ghost writing a book for another doctor covering the benefits of Cetyl Myristolerate as they relate to arthritis. And, in addition, I have just finished a book editing assignment for prominent C.E.O. Consultant/Business Coach. With regard to salary, that is open for discussion. But, please keep in mind that I have over 20 years of experience at doing what I do, as you can see by my resume, and that I am reasonably good at it. I would be interested in hearing the figure you have in mind. Thank you for the opportunity to let you know I would be interested in undertaking this assignment. Sincerely, Larrie R. Funk Senior Technical Writer/Editor P.S. I look forward to further discussing how I may put my years of experience to work for you. I may be reached at 1-847-917-2131. If I should be temporarily away, there is voicemail on that line. I do return all my calls as long as you leave your name, number and purpose of the call. P.P.S. Please be advised... I currently have NO DESIRE to become a captive employee of any employer. I work strictly on a contract/freelance basis. Clients are invoiced for work performed. Payment is due upon receipt. RESUME FOLLOWS: L A R R I E R. F U N K SUMMARY: Through the use of innovative technology, cut manual production time in half for one company. By creating an all inclusive master proposal manual, streamlined proposal production process – eliminating error generation and greatly shortening production time for a major construction company. Increased the quality rating of another company’s product manuals from 48th out of 55 to 3rd place in a six month period. Cleared up an aircraft company’s three year backlog of maintenance manual updates in six months. These are by no means all of the accomplishments to my credit. EDUCATION: BA and MBA, Stratford College; Los Angeles, California Technical Publications Consultant L. R. FUNK, Technical Publications Consulting, (Self-Employed - 20+ yrs.) Primary duties included: • Ongoing editing of a doctor's monthly Chiropractic/Homeopathic news letter • Ghost write manuscript for a physician’s book • Textual content editing of a major Homeopathic website • Textual editing of presentations for a Doctor of Chiropractic and Homeopathic medicines • Communicate clearly and efficiently with all project personnel • Guide clients in the preparation of all manner of training curriculum, qualification presentations, graphical sales presentation media, proposals, and statements of corporate purpose • Deliver/teach developed curriculum when desired • Maintain a close watch on all new and developing publications technologies • Become familiar with a large variety of equipment (including - but not limited to: mechanical equipment, hydraulic equipment, electromechanical equipment, electronic equipment, and structural ******** equipment, computer equipment) • Utilize various MIL SPECS. (including: MIL-M--15071G (Navy), MIL-M-38784B, MIL-HDBK-63038-1 (TM), MIL-M-63036A (TM), MIL-STD-7935A, and MIL-STD-2167A) when dealing with military projects • Maintained a "SECRET" clearance while working on military projects (currently inactive) Director 0f Technical Publications For A Major Telecommunications Company Generate and/or revise Installation, Implementation, Operation, Upgrade, and Engineering written materials for proprietary Call Center software and hardware that is in use world wide in the consumer service industry. Help System Designer • Design help system for SAP software • Types of help systems developed include "classic", "HTML-based", and "Web-based" Senior Technical Publications Specialist Major Medical Diagnostic Equipment Manufacturer, Mount Prospect, IL Primary duties include: • Oversee all Manual production • Become ISO-9000 certified • Supervise all Manual production software acquisitions • Communicate effectively with all levels of management • Design On-Line Help Screens for product using RoboHelp Office classic and/or RoboHelp HTML 9.1 • Translate complicated engineering dissertations into easy to understand and follow text • Design and generate Installation/Owner/Operator Operations Manuals • Take photographs for illustrations used where needed • Take charge of all DTP operations where manual production is concerned through the use of MS-Word, PowerPoint, Frame Maker and other DTP programs Representative Sampling Of Companies With Which I Have Worked: • Media Solutions • General Electric Medical Systems • Niku, Inc. [formerly Proamics] • Sonoscan, Inc. • Arthur Andersen • NALCO Chemical Company • CNA Insurance Company • Unocal 76 • Air Wisconsin (United Express) • Abbott Laboratories • Bosch Pneumatics • R.R. Donnelley & Sons Company • Madison Kipp Foundry, Inc. • Warner Electric, Inc. • Darome, Inc. • Computer Partners, Inc. • Bell & Howell • Northern Telecom • Motorola • ITW – LINAC, Inc. • Zenith Radio Corporation • Signode Corporation • Frederiksen & Shu Laboratories, Inc. • Bally/Midway Manufacturing Co. • Power Systems, Incorporated • Arthur G. McKee And Company • A.O. Smith Harvestore Products, Inc. • Stewart - Warner • Warnecke Electron Tubes, Inc. • General Time Corporation, Aerospace Division • Baxter Healthcare • Allegiance • Teleformix, Inc. RELATED SKILLS: I have many skills, which have been developed over my 20+ years of practice. They include, but are not limited to: • Support of both the Macintosh and PC platforms and their associated hardware from Scanners to Slide Writers to CD/DVD Burners and more. • Familiarity with many Word Processing programs used on both platforms to include Microsoft Word, Word Perfect, Samna +IV, Nisus Writer, etc. • Use of graphics presentation/development and design software to include PowerPoint, PhotoShop, Harvard Graphics, Illustrator, Persuasion, etc. • RoboHelp and RoboHelp HTML authoring software for designing on-screen help files. Sap Software. • Numerous utility programs that aid in performing screen grabs, copying of images, editing of images and moving them to the desired locations, scanning and conversion of documents via OCR software. • Familiarity with many different types of cameras and lighting procedures to obtain the required photos for manual illustrations.
Dundee, Illinois, United States
Richard Eversley - Freelance Technical Writing & Multimedia
1
Kudos
4.0
2 Skills
$55
Rate/Hr
Due to my experience in engineering, software development, fine arts, management, training, and technology I bring a fusion of these elements to the table. I have a flair for taking something very technical and translating it into user friendly communications. This can be via documentation, e-docs, verbal communications, and or presentations. In regards to project management and process flow my work is very detailed with an emphasis on effectiveness and efficiencies. Expertise Design&Consulting Technical Writing Presentations Corporate Communications Broadcast Engineering Digital Signage Software development Testing & Quality Control Software release documents Sculpture & painting Video Production Live performance/production
Lakewood, Colorado, United States
Molly King - Freelance Creative Writing & Editing
0
Kudos
3.0
2 Skills
$10
Rate/Hr
I have been a translator/transcriber for the US military. I was a Russian Linguist, and as such I would listen to live transmissions and translate then transcribe them for reports. All work was done with live vocal transmissions, often on crackly equipment from thousands of miles away. I am also a blogger and a creative writer, mostly for my own enjoyment, but would love to move forward with this as a career. I do some proofreading and editing for a few friends of mine who are also writers, as well as book blurbs. I can type between 60-70 wpm with little to no errors and over 10,000 kpm on the 10-key
Waxahachie, Texas, United States
Jonathan Tee - Freelance Video Editing & Video Production
0
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
$25
Rate/Hr
Jonathan Tee 763 Broadway, Somerville, MA 02144 teejon@gmail.com 323-240-3635 www.contour-video.com 2005 B.A., Emerson College, Boston, MA, Graduated *** Laude Film Production Project & Employment History 2013 Director/Producer/Editor, Great Meadows • I co-directed and raised funds for my micro budget short horror film. • I operated under strict timelines and wavering weather conditions. Camera Operator, Bridgend Documentary Feature • I determined camera placement & composition for interviews, captured b-roll. 2012 Director/Producer, C.R.E.E.P. Music Video • Prepared the set, set up lights, and broke down the set upon wrap out. • I directed a cast of 25, including non-actors. • Won Video of the Year by Limelight Magazine. Director/Editor, Maypole Music Video • I Synchronized camera moves to fluidly match the performances of 5 dancers. • Aired on Fuse TV. Director/Editor, New Balance 2012 Behind the Scenes Product Shoot • I executed this shoot with available light & no budget. • I developed & utilized a hand crafted Jib arm for use with the GOPRO. 2011 Camera Operator/Editor, Footloose Behind the Scenes Photo Shoot • I captured dance footage of Kenny Wormald, Star of the remake of Footloose. Camera Operator/Editor Kimpton Hotels • Devised an original & upbeat video for the CEO of the Corporation. • Collected b-roll of San Francisco to creatively frame the piece. Camera Operator, The Tough Mudder • I Captured a days worth of footage, while aboard an off terrain vehicle. • Delivered raw footage to Sports Illustrated for internal use. Director/Producer, Pearson Publishing Your Office Video Series • Filmed interviews with specialists from • speaking to the abilities, benefits, and overall nature of the new Microsoft Office publication. • Selected camera angles and calculated the best lighting for each subject. 2010 D.P./Camera Operator, The Annenberg Space for Photography • Surveyed Museum’s Curator. • Gathered b-roll highlighting the key/unique aspects of the Museum. 2006 Director/Producer/Editor, Hollywood Music Video • I simplified a high concept idea and achieved • Initiated the first live action shoot on top of my employer’s rooftop. August 2005-October 2007 Trailer Park Inc, Hollywood, CA Marketing/Vault Coordinator • Managed and Co-coordinated a team of 8 PA’s. • Managed Video Vault, controlling flow of all incoming & outgoing content. • Accommodated the video duplication needs of 6 to 8 producers at a time. Skills Microsoft Word, Final Cut Pro, Final Draft, File Maker Pro. References are available upon request.
Arlington, Massachusetts, United States
Regiesha Harley - Freelance Music Production & Songwriting
0
Kudos
2.5
2 Skills
$7
Rate/Hr
I Love to write my own music in genres like Gospel, Rap, R&B, and Pop. I started as a young girl and my mom always use to come in my room and see me dancing or writing songs. Singing and ****** gives me so much pleasure and excitement when I wake up in the morning. like yayy!!! thank you Jesus.
Bradenton, Florida, United States
Kenneth Robbins - Freelance Mural Painting & Illustration
1
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
$25
Rate/Hr
Mural Artist, Faux Painter, Illustrator, I've worked in the art field for 20 years, developed a wide range of skills, I grew up in Illinois with the freedom to be creative and studied the masters such as Rubens and Caravaggio on my own. I've done work for Schools, residential,commercial. working with so many people over the years with so many different tastes and interest has given me a range of skills and understanding that most other artist lack. Life Is Creating and I Am A Creator.
Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
Meredith Mashburn - Freelance Commercial Photography & Portrait Photography
0
Kudos
4.5
2 Skills
Ask
Rate/Hr
Meredith M. Mashburn Personal Outlook In my business, there is nothing more important than meeting and exceeding the needs of my clients. From the roots of a design concept, to the culmination of a fully integrated photo campaign, my positive attitude and tenacious work ethic never waiver. As a creative, I approach challenges and problems as a critical component of my end design. I see these challenges as opportunities to better my artistic vision and fine-tune my process. When we embrace challenges as opportunities, we prepare ourselves for success. Objective I am interested in a position that is challenging and exciting. I am a highly motivated and driven individual. Ideally, I would like to work in a professional atmosphere with like-minded people. Education Bachelor of Arts, Photography Spring 2000 University of Arkansas Fayetteville, AR Degree emphasized design theory, darkroom techniques (black and white and color printing), digital imaging, and final presentation. Study Abroad Program in Italy Summer 1999 Certifications/ Montessori Instructor Training North American Montessori Center Photoshop Maine Photographic Workshops Personal Photoshop Tim Cooper; Rocky Mountain School of Photography Scholarships Phi Beta Delta November 1999 Honor Society for International Scholars Awards/ Originals! Arkansas Women Artist 2001 Art Exhibition Exhibitions Arkansas Committee of the National Museum of Women in the Arts Hardshare Art Continuum Spring 2001 Mountain Lakes Estates Photo Award April 2000 Collier Photo Award Fall 2000 Collier Photo Award Fall 1999 Experience Montessori Children’s House June 2003 – January 2007 Fayetteville, AR Early Primary Lead Teacher Qualities Needed: Appropriate training, a mature attitude and behavior, and the ability to communicate Duties: Maintain communication with parents and administration regarding the best interest of the children Communicate with young children using the Montessori method Provide a caring and attractive environment conductive to learning Teach children to be strong, confident, and independent while nurturing their thirst for knowledge Bedford Camera and Video April 1997-June 2003 Fayetteville, AR Portrait Photographer Qualities Needed: Being responsible and knowledgeable about the care and use of photography equipment and the ability to make people feel comfortable in an unfamiliar studio setting Duties: Provide beautiful professional portraits in studio and on location Transportation and care of photography equipment Consult with portrait customer and help guide the customer through the purchase of prints Quality control—making sure every portrait and prints were flawless. Maintenance and upkeep of the studio and equipment. Meredith Mashburn Photography, LLC April 1997-Present Fayetteville, AR Owner/Operator Duties Responsible for all duties in this start-up operation Provide perfect portraits in studio and on location Transportation and care of photographic equipment Customer service and relations Printing Creating Line Sheets, Commercial Design and Add Campaigns for corporate clients Filing and archiving digital files Specializing in Portraits, Events, Commercial, Editorial, Fashion, Photojournalism and Fine Art Photography Strengths/ Skills I have over 15 years experience in all aspects of photography. I have Professional working experience with Adobe Creative Suite, MS Word, and Excel. My strengths include Photoshop, In Design, Set Design, Creative Concept Development, Photo shoot Production and Creative Vision Client Testimonials "Our company uses Meredith Mashburn Photography Studio for all our professional photography needs. We feel Meredith's easy and confident personality allow her to be an expert in producing quality photos of individuals and teams that illustrate the unique personality of people and companies. She is also willing to rise to meet the challenges of special requests. When developing our website, she listened carefully to the direction we were taking with our new branding, and she produced the photos that captured the essence of our company and have been part of our branding efforts ever since." ~Amy Robinson, President¬¬¬? Springline Group "Having endless praises to sing for Meredith Mashburn Photography Studio, I will attempt to keep my words brief! I have been fortunate enough to work with Meredith in multiple facets and have come to find there are certain qualities you can always expect from her performance: a consistently prompt turnaround time, an openness to push the creative envelope and an unmatched eagerness to please her clients. Throughout our partnership at www.shopmasons.com, I found Meredith to be naturally business savvy with a knack for ¬¬¬¬¬understanding practical planning. She constantly strove to deliver more than was expected and even ended up playing an integral part in multiple online marketing campaigns! Due to the sharp attention to detail offered at Meredith Mashburn Photography, you can rest assured that, with her, your business will shine above the rest. As soon as my fiancé and I became engaged, we knew we had to have Meredith Mashburn Photography Studio capture our love for one another. At times, being in front of a lens can be unnerving, but Meredith's personable nature instantly put us both at ease! And isn't that what you want in your engagement or family photos? To look and feel like yourself? I think so. Whether photographing a product, a landscape, an editorial or a person... Meredith Mashburn Photography will always have my vote!" ~Anna Chatelain, Founder & Stylist? Tulip Louise “Meredith’s photos are simply jaw-dropping. She is one of the hardest working people in the business. Her versatility and all-in approach to each project is outstanding. I have never heard of her turning her nose at any difficult or unique photography scenario. She can turn even the most horrible photography environments into amazing results. One of the first things that impressed me about Meredith was how intently she listened to me when describing my desires for the photos. I love listening to her discuss her work as well because she has such a passion for it and makes every shoot seem fun. I would definitely recommend Meredith for any photo project. She is extremely easy to work with, professional, and fun all at the same time.” December 2, 2011 Top qualities: Great Results, Personable, Creative Chris Lankford, ?hired Meredith as a Photographer in 2011 “Meredith is a creative tour de force. She can shoot any style, any location, any person or group. She's got a great eye for capturing fun in her photos of families and children....to couture in her fashion shots. Meredith is dependable, hard working, and really dedicated to providing her clients with their shots at superhuman speeds. I highly recommend Meredith for your photo needs - large to small. She's very friendly, easy to work with, and a true professional.” December 1, 2011 Mitsi McKee, Associate Director, Digital Design and Development, University of Arkansas
Springdale, Arkansas, United States
Sergio Lepore - Freelance Art & Fantasy Art
16
Kudos
4.5
2 Skills
Ask
Rate/Hr
My name is Sergio Lepore and I am a 2d artist/illustrator. I have been teaching art for 12 years now and want to do some commercial work. Later I hope to put up a more detailed account of myself. A note about my work. I do the majority of it from scratch which means my imagination and/or freehand. This includes all my digital work, too. I hope you enjoy it and look forward to work for you. Note my hourly rate may very so I have left this blank.
Tempe, Arizona, United States
Alexander Nanitchkov - Freelance Fantasy Art, Drawing, Painting, Portrait Painting, & Book Illustration
2343
Kudos
5.0
12 Skills
Ask
Rate/Hr
Hi, if you want to commission me, please feel free to contact me via email - artofinca AT gmail DOT com Please provide detailed information about your commission along with, examples, references, deadline and budget. Thanks! about me: My name is Alexander Nanitchkov and I have been painting for almost two decades though I started doing it professionally in the last 8 years. I favored acrylic paints on canvas but in the last five years, I am steadily turning towards the digital medium. I like exploring conceptual environments and character design, with an emphasis on composition, mood and atmosphere. I am attracted by the truth in art and the fact that truth is not a choice of context. It is the whole truth and not a stylized version, trading reality for an elaborate but shallow way of saying too little. That or the shiny and polished, idealized version of the truth waxed to the point it starts dripping. I shy from such obscuring stilization, avoid polish, strive to find realism even where it is non existent and always tend to leave bit of a smudged (un)finish with an original focal point. I hope you enjoy your stay!
Sofia, Sofia, Bulgaria