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Penelope Prettyman - Freelance Networking & Bulk Mailing
0
Kudos
3.0
2 Skills
$9
Rate/Hr
I am a hard and fast worker.
Louisburg, Kansas, United States

More Freelancers

Danita Michelle Allen - Freelance Book Writing & Creative Writing
0
Kudos
3.5
2 Skills
$20
Rate/Hr
I'm an author of 3 books of poetry. "Black woman: In My Soul" and "So Black, So Beautiful: Black Woman". Those two were written under my previous name of Danita Michelle (Shelly) Chatman-Berry. "Love, Black Love" is my most recent work, and it is penned under my current legal name of Danita Michelle (Shelly) Allen.
Choctaw, Oklahoma, United States
Taylor Byrd - Freelance Creative Writing & Music Composition
0
Kudos
3.0
2 Skills
$10
Rate/Hr
I am a seasoned creator in many fields. I am especially talented in the production of music or composition of songs. I am currently in my last year of completing a degree in music education and I have a passion for composing and writing music.I can also do some graphic design for logos, books, CD covers, etc. I can also do creative writing, I have a vivid imagination!
Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
Denise DiMarzo - Freelance Office Management & Admin Support
1
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
Ask
Rate/Hr
ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT/SPECIAL SECURITY REPRESENTATIVE Office of Naval Intelligence Detachment, U.S. Navy, 686 Cushing Road, Newport, RI 02840 Dates Employed: 1/5/2009 to 10/23/2010 •Was the Office Manager to the Officer in Charge and Executive Officer. •Prepared correspondence that is neat in appearance, property formatted, contains required information and has minimal spelling or grammatical errors within reasonable timeliness. •Routed incoming correspondence directly to the appropriate recipient, on a daily basis. •Prepared and mailed out Welcome Aboard packages for new personnel. •Handled and safeguarded correspondence commensurate with the classification, privacy, and sensitivity requirements. •Tracked all Detachment tasks and correspondence and develops logs, reports, queries, and metrics as required by Official Navy Regulations and as directed to ensure all suspense’s were met. •Developed and updated tailored policies and implementation guidance on administrative matters. •Maintained official command calendar and manages OIC calendar, ensured appointments and other entries are updated on average within one day of notification. •Executed OIC travel requirements, including orders, travel and lodging within Defense Travel System (DTS). Facilitated any last minute changes. Ensured all travel arrangements prepared within required timelines and per Government guidelines. •Took minutes at meetings. •Acted as Primary Action Officer for all official external visits/visitors and reviews, to include Special Security and Inspector General Assessments. •Ensured office supplies are maintained at the appropriate level and ordered all office supplies, furniture, toner cartridges and anything else that was required by the office. •Managed the development of the annual budget and ensures accurate completion and submission within established deadlines. •Tracked budget expenditures and prepared accurate periodic reports and updated the supervisor and within established deadlines. •Served as Defense Travel System and Government Credit Card Point of Contact and Subject Matter Expert . •Served as the Detachment Security Manager and Special Security Representative. •Ensured security clearances for all Detachment personnel are current and manages periodic reinvestigation notification, completion, submission and follow-up ahead of deadlines. •Managed visit request procedures and processes including clearance certification and verification. •As required, maintained an accurate and up-to-date inventory of classified material. •Stayed apprised of current security regulations, conducts SCIF and security program self-assessments and ensures Detachment compliance with all relevant security regulations. SECRETARY/ ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT U.S.C.G. Civil Engineering Unit Providence, Department of Homeland Security, 300 Metro Center Blvd. Warwick RI 02886 Dates Employed: 4/18/2004 to 6/7/2008. •Was the Secretary to the Commanding Officer and the Executive Officer. •Integrated several types of software, such as spreadsheets, database, word processing, desktop publishing and graphics applications, to generate specific working documents and forms. •Worked with Excel and Access creating reports, spreadsheets, tables •Outlook calendar – scheduled meetings, appointments, booked conference rooms •Created presentations periodically in PowerPoint •Prepared engineering specifications, correspondence, messages, reports and engineering data. •Provided advice, guidance, and assistance to staff on various issues, including personnel and pay procedures. Evaluated the office needs of the immediate work area and participates in work groups documenting the requirements for developing a specialized application or procedure. •Performed technical work that was demanding in terms of knowledge and skills required to adequately accomplish assigned tasks. Handled independent assignments requiring use of specialized techniques. Exercised initiative in developing solutions to common technical and procedural problems. •Served as the organization’s focal point for providing office management services for an organization with subordinate units and/or customer units. •Provided assistance and technical guidance to staff on various issues including personnel and pay procedures, security issues, retirement, and workman’s compensation. Acted as liaison between CEU Providence and Civilian Personnel Representatives. •Assisted new employees with completing all personnel papers (i.e. I-9’s verifying documentation, TSP paperwork, Health benefits paperwork, Retirement paperwork, beneficiary paperwork etc.). •Maintained all personnel files for 60 civilian employees. •Prepared and mailed out Welcome Aboard packages for new personnel. •Acted as Assistant Building Manager responsible for monitoring daily services provided by the Building Owner. •Acted as a member of the Command Security Team and Held a Secret Clearance. •Arranged meeting details such as location, schedule, agenda, and attendance list for special events. •Performed full range of procedural work of the office. Assisted Supervisor’s subordinates in procedural aspects of expediting the work of the office, including redistributing assignments to take care of fluctuating workloads. •Justified and requested office equipment replacement. •Screened visitors and telephone calls in accordance with appropriate security procedures. •Served as Time and Attendance Administrator and researched and compiled reports in the required computer program. Prepared materials for the Supervisors approval by reviewing and researching time and attendance records and logs, compiling information on such items as salary costs, hours worked, leave and full time equivalencies, tracks personnel actions for assigned personnel, ensuring the principal and other assigned supervisory personnel are aware of all suspense’s for personnel actions, within-in grades, etc. •Performed wide variety of mail and file procedures. Provided information to operating elements of the organization by routing all materials received and by prompt processing of outgoing materials. •Was the Unit Travel System Approving Official •Was the Manager for DHL Account •Was the Assistant Manager for Mail Account •Acted as Health Benefits Coordinator for entire office ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT U.S.C.G. Civil Engineering Unit Providence, Department of Homeland Security, 300 Metro Center Blvd. Warwick, RI 02886 Dates Employed: 10/7/1991 to 4/17/2004 Promoted Due to Increase of Duties to Secretary/Administrative Assistant Position •Prepared engineering specifications, correspondence, messages, reports and engineering data. •Assembled, typed, reviewed and finalized complex engineering specifications. I reviewed for proper format, spelling, grammar, clarity and presence of required paragraphs. I ensured that all required information was provided, included in the correct location. •Performed training to the technical staff on specifications editing procedures. •Maintained Civil Engineering Data System (CEDS) and Oracle databases which identified and tracked the units project backlog, shore facilities inventory, Coast Guard Real Property and Personal Property and other management information and works closely with the Facility Asset Manager Coordinators (FAMS). •Received incoming calls, distributed incoming mail, greeted visitors and allowed access to visitors per security procedures. •Integrated several types of software such as spreadsheets, databases, word processing, desktop publishing, engineering applications, payroll, and graphic applications to generate specific working documents and forms. •Converted all engineering/contracting documents to PDF files for electronic solicitations. •Provided assistance and technical guidance to staff on various issues including personnel and pay procedures, security issues, retirement, and workman’s compensation. Acted as liaison between CEU Providence and Civilian Personnel Representatives. •Maintained all personnel files for 60 civilian employees. •Acted as liaison between CEU Providence and the Building Manager. Insured lease obligations between the landlord and tenant are met. Worked very closely with GSA Representatives regarding the lease, i.e. cleaning, painting, upgrading office spaces and other types of maintenance which are required. Worked very closely with the Federal Protective Service regarding the security for our office which is required through GSA and because we are a Government Agency. •Managed and maintained publications, phone directories, manuals and directives. •Was the Unit Travel System Approving Official •Was the Manager for DHL Account •Was the Assistant Manager for Mail Account •Acted as Health Benefits Coordinator for entire office •Served as Time and Attendance Administrator and researched and compiled reports in the required computer program. Prepared materials for the Supervisors approval by reviewing and researching time and attendance records and logs, compiling information on such items as salary costs, hours worked, leave and full time equivalencies, tracked personnel actions for assigned personnel, ensuring the principal and other assigned supervisory personnel are aware of all suspense’s for personnel actions, within-in grades, etc. •Served as the principal administrative person in the organizational unit and assists other staff members, subordinate units, and customer units. Managed office operations for an organization with a mission that affects a wide range of agency activities and/or customer units. •Arranged meeting details such as location, schedule, agenda and attendance list for special events. •Point of contact for the maintenance and upkeep of office equipment such as copiers and fax machines. •Maintained files, typed narratives and statistical material from rough drafts. Reviewed letters for format and accuracy and prepares in final form for Commanding Officer’s signature. •I was a member of the Command Security Team and also held a Secret Clearance. Freight Rate Assistant U.S. Naval Construction Battalion Center, Davisville, Rhode Island 02854-1161 Dates Employed: 10/3/1989-10/4/1991 Reason for Leaving: Involved in RIF and Base Closure •Was responsible for adapting procedures, methods and practices used in arrangements for shipments and delivery of outgoing cargo to carriers, preparing bills of lading and other transportation control movement documents, all special handling and accessorial services, interpret transportation rules, regulations, tariffs, tenders, etc. •I assisted other tenant commands, other departments, in providing the following information and advice in connection with the transportation of material/equipment to various geographical locations: changes in rates, new routes available or transit arrangements (taking into account changes in transportation costs); transit and final destination points; savings resulting from transit privileges when taken within the time limits; safety factors to consider; and diversion of shipments from vendors directly to the consignee or another port of embarkation to expedite delivery for urgent priority requirements or to reduce transportation charges. •I was responsible for initiating and scheduling shipping actions. This included selecting type of carrier, notifying carrier dispatch office, securing necessary routing authorization, and preparation and distribution of pertinent shipping documents. •Shipments were also made to other parts of the country and involved different transportation modes such as: rail, truck, air, railway express, freight forwarders, air express, and parcel post. •I exerted economies on handling material by proper selections of carrier; accurate commercial descriptions of goods, grouping lots to increase overall weight and gain reduced freight rates; combined shipments to decrease cost of documentation. Supply Clerk/Procurement Assistant U.S. Naval Construction Battalion Center, Davisville, Rhode Island 02854-1161 Dates Employed: 7/1/1989-10/2/1989 Reason for Leaving: Was involved in Reduction In Force and was reassigned to another position •Was responsible for the accurate preparation of orders for Supplies and Services. The data was transcribed from handwritten telephonic quotations compiled by purchasing agents and the requisition documents. I correctly transcribed descriptions, quantities, unit prices, totals, and all terms and conditions agreed upon between the purchasing agent and the supplier •Special clauses were required when applicable, such as transportation clauses, pick-up instructions, returnable drum clauses, subscription clauses, (priorities and allocation designators) warranty clauses, special invoicing instructions, special shipping instructions, and contractual clauses. Navy Priority designators and accounting data. I was required to insure that all clauses were included when and if required and they were typed in the proper place on the purchase order. •I initiated and prepared Requests for Quotations from groups of requisitions with several names or prospective suppliers. •I researched for correct addresses, compiled data from many separate request documents working with Military Specifications, Stock Nomenclature Cards, written descriptions and excerpts and printed material obtained from commercial brochures. •Typed repair orders, modifications/amendments to orders and cancellations, prepared annual requisitions (electricity, water, gas); prepared annual purchase requisitions, prepared annual service requisitions/contracts (maintenance of office equipment, scales, etc.), prepared annual Blanket Purchase Agreements. Maintained a log of request documents received in the Branch indicating current status and final actions thereon. Answered inquiries from customers on status, maintained files on all purchases made and maintained publications in an up to date state NAVSUP Manuals, Vols. 1 & 2. Procurement Assistant Officer in Charge, Naval Facilities Engineering Command, Contracts Office, Naval Construction Battalion Center, Davisville,Rhode Island 02854 Dates Employed: 6/15/87 through 7/1/89 Reason for Leaving: Contracting Branch transferred to CA and I was involved in a Reduction in Force In-House and was downgraded due to RIF Procedures to position listed above. •Was Assistant to a Contract Specialist providing relief on many contract administration details. •Maintained follow-up actions required, initiated and typed in final form letters of award, delegate letters to DCAS elements and initiated requests for pricing proposals involving contract changes. •I obtained technical and pricing evaluations and negotiated appropriate modifications under the guidance and in consultation with the Supervisor or Contract Specialist or in situations involving highly complex issues assisted the Specialist by researching and assembling case-related data and information. •Prepared in final form negotiation memoranda and contract documentation utilizing information personally developed from guidelines available or as provided by the negotiator, depending on the particular situation. •Attended bid openings and recorded bid results, prepared Abstract of Bids, recorded and transcribed minutes at negotiation conferences, independently initiated per-award surveys, maintained contract files and administered contracts through to physical completion and final payment. •Updated status reports. Set up tickler files for negotiations. •Administered a series of selected fixed price contracts of average complexity responsible for accomplishing all required actions to insure the Government’s interests were always protected. EDUCATION: Mt. Pleasant High School, Providence, Rhode Island, High School Diploma JOB-RELATED HONORS, AWARDS, MEMBERSHIPS, ETC.: Board of Directors –The 100 Club of Rhode Island – A charitable organization granting death benefits to slain officers and firemen, and scholarships and bonds to their children. Executive Secretary – Armed Forces Civilian Council – A mix of retired and active members of the military of all grades who function as a group, blending and resolving wishes of the community and military. Notary Public – State of Rhode Island Mentor at Randall Holden Elementary School, Warwick, RI I was the Coordinator for Partnership in Education Was on the Advisory Committee, Board of Directors for High School Work Program Was a member on the Quality Management Board (QMB) at CEU Providence Was a member on the Employee Quality Forum (EQF) at CEU Providence Serves at voting member on the Morale Committee at CEU Providence QSI on 5 September 1982 Letter of Appreciation from Atlantic Division, Norfolk, VA on 7 September 1983 Special Act Award on 18 October 1985 Sustained Superior Performance Award on 21 May 1986 Performance and Cash Awards Received every year from June 1991 through June 2008 Citation for Unit Commendation Award on 12 July 1993 On the Spot Cash Award 30 Sept 1993 Special Act Award 15 September 1994 Federal Employee of the Year Award through the RI Federal Executive Council in June 1998 Employee Recognition Award 12 May 2004 Employee Recognition Award October 2006 Excellence in Mentoring Award Partnership Award 18 January 2007 JOB-RELATED TRAINING COURSES: Support Staff in Today’s Environment – 8/19/83 NETC, Newport, RI Supply Ashore Correspondence Course – 5/8/84 Defense Small Purchase Course – 5/9/86 Fleet Material Support Office Training; Principles of Navy Retail and Financial Management – 11/3/86-11/7/86 ****** Harassment Course – 3/31/87, 8/29/88 Mandatory Course Principles For Communicating Effectively – 10/1/87 Management of Defense Acquisition Contracts (Basic) Correspondence Course – 6/19/89 Governmental Bookkeeping & Accounting Correspondence Course – 10/22/93 Word 97 Intermediate, Microsoft Access, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Outlook, Business Writing For Results – 7/25/94 Incident Command System National Training Curriculum 10/24/94 How to Identify and Fix Pesky PC Problems Powerful Communications Skills CMS Custodian Security Training – 2/99 Group Woods Hole, MA How to Deal With Difficult People – Fred Pryor Seminar Shore Asset Management System Report Portal (SAM’s) Training April 2005 Ethics Training Training for the Exceptional Assistant 31 August 2005 Leadership for Non-Supervisors Training 8 and 9 December 2005 Certificate of Attendance for The Women’s Conference 24 January 2006 Women’s Conference February 2006 Mistake-Free Grammar & Proofreading Course 2007 DoD Information Assurance Awareness 7 January 2009 SCI Administration 5 February 2009 SSO Administration 6 February 2009 SSO/SSR Security Professional 21 February 2009 Basic SCI Systems User Refresher Course 1 April 2009 Security Manager’s Course May 2009
West Warwick, Rhode Island, United States
Leslie White - Freelance 3D Animation & Animation
40
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
$20
Rate/Hr
The quick story: I am a powerhouse animator with 5 years of experience in 2D and 3D animation. As an expert in Maya and Adobe Creative Suite, I am prepared to delivery highly polished work - even in short timeframes. My specialties include: - 3D modeling and texturing (props and characters, including low polygon assets) - 3D Animation (rigging and basic character animation) - 3D textures/shaders - 2D Flash/Animate explainer videos - storyboards and final editing The longer story: Having worked primarily in scientific/medical animation for the past 5 years, I am looking to spread my wings and take on projects that are more creative in nature. What does this mean? I get to work with amazing people like YOU, and you get the benefit of a skilled/experienced animator at a great price.
San Mateo, California, United States
Erika Torres-Lopez - Freelance Spanish Translation & Translation
0
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
Ask
Rate/Hr
erika torres 425 E. Elm ct | Rialto, CA 92376 | 909-421-8983 909-258-5711 | erikak_torres13@hotmail.com Objective Interpreter English/Spanish Education High School Diploma Charter Oak High School Certificate Program in Legal Interpretation and Translation Spanish/English, English/Spanish California State University Los Angeles 2007 2013 Skills & Abilities Translate sentences spoken or written in English into Spanish and vice versa Check original text to ensure that translation is accurate Excellent bilingual communication skills Ability to work in a fast paced environment and multitask Able to provide Simultaneous, Consecutive Interpretations as well as Translations Experience Volunteer Bankruptcy Proceedings February 2013- June 2013 Translate in real-time during court testimonial proceedings. Provide Consecutive and Simultaneous translations. Clerk Estrada’s Granite Performed clerical duties Provide great customer service Answered phones January 2013- August 2013
Rialto, California, United States
William McCray Sutherlin - Freelance Poster Design & Event Photography
0
Kudos
4.0
2 Skills
$10
Rate/Hr
William McCray Sutherlin 561 East State St. Baton Rouge, LA, 70802 (985)705.4138 sutherlinw@gmail.com Education Louisiana State University| Baton Rouge, LA, August, 2011–Present ? GPA: 3.5, Double Major: Communication Studies, Film & Media Arts. Minors: Leadership Development, Political Science Experience Tromba Ristorante Bar, Talent Buyer | New York, NY | May 2013-August 2013 • Manage all social media/promotion and booking as well as manage the shows. • Contact: Federico, Owner (646) 667.0307 Albatross Entertainment Group LLC, Founder/President| Baton Rouge, LA | December 2012-Present (2013) ? Film Production/Photography/Music Videos/Promotional Videos ? Scout Talent. Currently Managing 12 Acts and collaborating with dozens more. ? Market, promote, and assist in booking acts at local venues ? Establish, and update social media/website for the company ? Create event posters ? Knowledge of contractual agreements and how they work. The Varsity Theatre, Assistant | Baton Rouge, LA September-Present (2012) ? Doorman/Promoter ? Contact: Alex Bowen, Talent Buyer (337) 303.7612 Spanish Moon, Promoter/Intern| Baton Rouge, LA April 2013-present • Contact: Aaron Scruggs, Talent Buyer (225) 288-2766 Sullivan’s Steakhouse, Busser/Bar back| Baton Rouge, LA June 2012 – February 2013 Caldwell Construction, Simple Labor | Covington LA & New Orleans LA May 2011-February 2012 Tchefuncte Country Club, Cart Barn Manager/Golf Instructor/ Cook | Covington LA June 2005- 2011 Leadership and Additional Experience Activities ? 3 sport letterman: Golf (All-District, 2 year co-captain), Wrestling, Cross Country ? Founder of Albatross Entertainment LLC ? Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity: Construction Chair, Sergeant at Arms, IFC Delegate Additional Information ? Efficient in Photoshop and Microsoft Office ? Minimal knowledge in Piano/Percussion/Harmonica/Vocals ? Knowledge of where and how my peers consume music.
Brooklyn, New York, United States
Catasha Harris - Freelance Journalistic Photography & Editing
0
Kudos
4.0
2 Skills
Ask
Rate/Hr
Check out some of my rough work on youtube.com/catasha81. I am an up and coming comedienne in Oklahoma City Ok. I have some clean and some "dirty" work. I have a Bachelors in Communications and have written for one other sitcom in college so I have a little experience but I know funny and if you take a chance on me I will give my best. (^_^)
Spencer, Oklahoma, United States
Luke Yost - Freelance Journalistic Photography & Comedy Writing
0
Kudos
2.0
2 Skills
$6
Rate/Hr
Son of a professional published author and former newspaper editor. Journalism runs in the family. My mother is currently the editor for two papers in Iowa. 1 year professional experience writing grants for a major non-profit. 2 years of experience taking photographs for various publications for non-profits. Interested in developing a stronger skill set in comedy/comic writing. Developed personal blog about the perils (often comic) of twentysomethings with over 1000 reads. Samples from blog: 1: Part of the reason is that I’m a texter. And I’m sure a lot of you are texters too. I didn’t think I ever would be, but then you know, it just happens. I would still prefer face-to-face over anything else, but we live in a world where texting has all the power. And it’s hard to find joy in our textual relationships. Singlehandedly, texting has become the most casual and accessible form of intimacy without really accomplishing anything, because in a way it gives us a false sense of security. We have the feeling we have a right to talk to anybody, anywhere, anytime. A single text can have so much power it could be the most invasive, annoying, conveniently pragmatic, casually or progressively intimate, undeniably lazy, regrettable form of communication out there. 2:The Night I Almost Could Have Got Roofied New Year’s Eve started off with a mojito and not one of those mojitos a conservative housewife drinks once a month — a Thursday after bridge club. This was a fierce, Latin force. I was laughing extra hard over a conversation about the recent movie Pitch Perfect. I was excited over the promise of a New Year. I was hoping to see the mysterious yellow shirt (MYS) out there. MYS and I talked about the tasty popcorn at Bucks the Saturday before. My bladder was already prepping itself for game time. And I was planning out my night as spontaneously as I could. I wasn’t driving tonight, feeling like my share had already been put into the sober pallet twice this previous weekend. This was my night! I headed to a friend’s house after supper. I played a round of darts, had a couple of shots, played a drinking game, and some Mario Kart on the N64. I learned the hard way that you can’t text and drive a car on Rainbow Highway without hitting a few bombs. I literally woofed down some of the best caramel mix I’ve ever had. I had made a few phone calls to my friend Liesl. She was coming over to the house as well. I was doing the best job trying to navigate her. Liesl had previously mentioned to me how happy she was on her recent glittery, ******-heel purchase. She even sent me a text earlier that weekend with a photo. They looked good. She told me she was wearing these heels when she arrived. I stepped outside to scream at her from the steps to make it easier for her to pinpoint the exact house I was partying at. I saw that a car pulled over as she stood at the corner. I thought to myself “Oh dear God! The shoes actually worked!” Frankly I was just a bit frightened so I shouted for her to hurry up. It turned out she was just asked by a “nice” lady if she needed a ride. That’s generally how your story ends up on Investigation Discovery, there Liesl. After playing Categories for a while, Liesl and I got a ride to Wiley’s in downtown Sioux Falls. We were meeting some of my other friends. Immediately when we got of the car we saw my other friend Lauren standing in the shockingly long line to get into the bar. We were so overjoyed at not having to stand in the back that we went and met her. Of course we became the most hated people around us, as we were labeled, fittingly, “budgers” by a girl on her phone. If had to use to the phone at that point I could think of few other labels to call her if I described who we were standing by. We got into the bar and both Liesl and I had to go to the bathroom. This was the first time for me in almost in an hour. My bladder was really playing in the big leagues tonight. The place was packed. I have record time for going to the bathroom, [not quite clear] so I figured I had at least fifteen minutes to **** before Liesl was back into the bar. I spotted my friend Leiah and her friends on the dance floor. I made a round of heartfelt “hellos” but then was approached by a friend of my friends who was a having a little more fun than I was at that point. She decided to pull me up to the dance stage. I have been to Wiley’s plenty of times to know that guys aren’t allowed up there. I expressed this to her over and over again. She had a scary grip on my arms, like the arms of an Amazon woman. She wasn’t going to let me leave. All I could think of was poor Liesl trying to find her way back out of the bathroom. I begged and pleaded with this girl to please let me go, and to please let me find Liesl. She slurred with a mad glaze, “I know your type! I know you! You’ll leave and never come back! Never!” I promised her over and over again I would, sacrificing my dance floor life to rescue Liesl, until finally she released me and I saw Liesl’s wise eyes searching for me! After all that Wiley’s got pretty boring, and we were having difficulty getting a drink. There was no sight of MYS and Liesl and I made the impulsive decision to leave. We were finding nobody to kiss. We were searching for cab numbers to call. We randomly, and probably more stupidly, decided to go outside to make a call (Liesl would say it was more my decision). I felt like I was stranded on a desert island and I saw the first ship when I spotted a big white van loaded people inside of it on Main Street! I screamed, “Do you take people?” A man replied, “Where are you going?” I shouted back, “Tinner’s!” This was where some of my other friends were, but more than likely not MYS. He replied, “Hop on In.” And we were on what I eventually found out but had a major hunch was a cab. I mean I coulda been headed to Serbia for all I know. We felt a bit safer when we saw the guy we had met in the bathroom hallway earlier debating what to do. He said to Liesl and me, “If we wanted to screw (but with a harsher term) there was utility closet nearby.” As it turned out Logan knew some people from our hometown and we chatted while his “special” friend growled at him to “shut up” all the way down to Tinner’s. When we got there Liesl and her minor league bladder headed to the bathroom and I found my other friends. G asked me, “How did you get here?” I replied, “I don’t know. We hopped in a van and I gave some guys five dollars and they took us here.” G replied, “That’s called a taxi.” I answered, “Oh.” Liesl and I ended up sitting in three different spots at the bar not quite recalling how or why we did. I was having a heart-to-heart with our next ride, when I realized something I did earlier. I remembered how for so long my Dad told me never to drink a drink that was set down and something that wasn’t yours, as he was afraid of all the things that could have been put in there these days. Well, Dad, tonight was the night that I did just that. I “sampled” a drink that was left at the booth we sat at. I wasn’t sure if was a beer or mixed drink, And while I’m not proud of this on many counts, including several sanitary. I realized that if somebody really wanted to roofie me, little old me, with this drink, they would have had to know that I was going to sit down at the booth, be gross enough to sample something that wasn’t mine, and to still be in the bar. That person would have really wanted to be with me, but then again all stalkers do, and usually don’t have that much going on so they could have come up with an elaborate plan and know that I become a hot mess sometimes, and that they wouldn’t be completely out of the ball park. Or I could have the bad luck of finding a table where somebody was trying to date **** somebody. In that case Liesl could have an after party at my apartment similar to “Weekend at Bernies!” I so I would certainly hope to be haphazardly arranged to dance to the Cupid Shuffle. So I’m sorry, Dad, yes this was the night I could have gotten roofied by doing everything you said I shouldn’t do! And no I never saw MYS. But I did cop a feel accidently with a pole at Perkins! 3:Still Single Under the Mistletoe This Christmas was pretty normal. Nobody started on fire. Nobody went into the ditch. Nobody was trying to chase a gallant heard of elk. Nobody was flying six feet through he air off a sled pulled by a four-wheeler over a snowbank. Nobody got drunk. And nobody almost had his or her heads cut off by a snowplow. Nobody got proposed to. All of which has happened in the past. Yes. Pretty normal. Even after Christmas was over I decided to extend the success of it all and do a bit of shopping the day after it ended. It also worked out since you know I have nothing else going on being unemployed or underemployed. I’ve dared out on many Black Fridays but I don’t recall celebrating Capitalism’s second biggest holiday in the past. There were more than few fellow shoppers out and about this morning. Things turned out decently enough except for one little thing: Valentine’s Day. For God’s sake I haven’t even finished digesting the last of my Christmas cookies, and they already have Valentine’s cards and decorations in the store. And just when I thought, “Gee, this was really a great Christmas,” I am reminded that, “no, I didn’t celebrate with anybody ‘spcheial’ and obviously I won’t have anybody for Valentine’s Day more than a freakin month a way!” I think of Christmas as a family holiday, but when you begin to harass it with Valentine’s Day I wonder if it would’ve been nice to have somebody. I mean on one hand being single has made be fairly flexible (get your mind out of the gutter). I went from car to car this weekend like I was transporting drugs out of Mexico. I spent last Friday night with old friends in Minnesota. This included a spectacular supper at Applebee’s. Like any great relationship Applebee’s likes to change itself, in its case the menu, every so often, making it more appealing to me and making me more willing to go back. (Maybe that’s my problem right there) Saturday I spent Christmas with my parents and my dad’s family. Sunday I played games and did some outdoor activities at the ski lodge. Monday I played piano at the nursing home’s Christmas Eve services. And Tuesday was spent with my mom’s side in Iowa in a recreation room of the hospital where my Grandma, who had just broken her arm, is staying. But through all of it, I still remained single.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota, United States
Thomas Woodfin - Freelance iOS Programming & Software Design
0
Kudos
5.0
2 Skills
$40
Rate/Hr
Hello, my name is Thomas Woodfin. I am an independent iOS app programmer experienced with Swift 4.0, Google Firebase, Back4app, Amazon AWS, and other 3rd party apis and SDKs. We are developers who focus on data-driven mobile applications, websites and applications, and database design and interfaces. I run an office in Denver and have a team of 8 excellent developers and 2 designers who have passed my high expectations of attention to detail. My team is experienced in PHP, React Native, jQuery, JavaScript, CSS, HTML5 and SEO as well. Here is our latest enterprise solution. http://theVotingVault.com & http://emmabyshoup.com I am certain that we can help you with your website, mobile app and SEO projects for a reasonable market price. I am a veteran of the United States Navy, graduated Berkeley.edu, Columbia.edu and NYU.edu in this order with a 2 year stint at UCONN without completing this degree. Feel free to check out my work at my website for more information. Work Terms
New York, New York, United States