Jonathon Bost

Freelance Creative Writer & Comedy Writer

Location:China Grove, North Carolina, United States
2 Skills
Greetings, my name is Jonathon Bost and this tiny rectangular box has the dubious honor to be your first impression of my writing talent. For all but two of my twenty-seven years on this planet, I've been tirelessly cultivating my writing skill. My devotion to creative writing was such that in fourth grade I attempted to form a horror-story club (after watching Are You Afraid of the Dark? and thinking that was the coolest thing ever). With the help of this girl in class, Leah Wilson, whom I totally had a crush on, we went to the principle, Dr. Robert Bloodworth (douche), walking up like a nine-year-old version of Mary Shelley and Lord Byron, and handed him a hand-written proposal for forming an after-school writing club.

I should probably mention that three years previous, I had shocked my overly-religious first-grade teacher with an English assignment that I had put a lot of effort into. It was a story where three teenagers get locked in a huge mansion with a psychopathic killer (Hannibal Lecter meets Leatherface), and while attempting to run for their lives through the mansion's many weird doors, rooms, and secret passages (or sometimes attempting to fight back, futilely), wind up in a dungeon that takes them to hell where the sole survivor gets devoured by the Devil. It was a thirteen-page story and I was really proud of it. For my trouble, I got sent to a psychologist and asked a bunch of awkward and personal questions, like how did I feel about the fact that my mom abandoned me when I was only days old, did my grandfather, Paw-paw, my adopted father, the person I consider Dad (and whom I miss everyday), touch me anywhere that a bathing suit would cover, and did I torture small animals?

So, by the time I approached the principal about the writing club, I already had a reputation for being “developmentally challenged”, despite the fact that I had been accepted into the academically gifted classes for math and English my second-grade year. I was told I was not allowed to form a club as it would be a distraction, so in response, while my class was out at recess, Leah and I made up 30 flyers and distributed them on everyone's desk. Turns out, no one else was interested in being a nerd with me, and the principal was pretty pissed about my insubordination. So I got kicked out of AG classes, put into a “special needs” class (special as in troubled, not handicapped), and up until the point where I got expelled from middle school in the seventh grade for making threats against an administrator's life (literal months after Columbine), I was a social outcast, all in the name of writing!

Despite the system being completely against me, Paw-paw and my godfather, Ben (a family friend from when my mom was little, he was my Paw-paw's best friend and a genius) had both endowed me with a passion for learning and I was fortunate enough to later on life, after Paw-paw died and, instead of going back to live with my abusive mother whom I spent two painful, horrible years with, moved in with Ben, returning full-circle to the cursed school system I had once been expelled from. When I got to high school, however, I found some really cool teachers who understood me and appreciated all the hard work I put into my assignments.

After dropping out from high school my senior year to play rhythm guitar for my friend's heavy metal band, Stitch Wound (a band I got kiced out of my godfather's house for playing in, which, when I joined, was named Blood Thrive – I got outvoted by my friends, who were idiots, when we voted for the new name, but whatever, I was living life in a gleeful alcoholic stupor as I had been every day since I was thirteen (thanks Brandon's mom!) and my main concern was having fun, which we did for a grand total of two shows (at respectable venues which we actually got paid for) before the band split up and I was left without a real goal in life), I floated around for a while, crashing from couch to couch, writing songs, stories, and doing anything just to fill the deep-seated urge to create and ignore the crushing reality that was, and in some ways will always be, my life.

I'm available for all manner of writing jobs, from the formal to the esoteric (which, as you can see from the writing style I've presented here, can border on the existential occasionally). I'm currently a student at a community college and soon to be transferring to UNC-Charlotte to major in English. I'm also proficient in audio and video editing, HTML, Microsoft Office, and am willing to travel. Thanks for investing the time to read my introduction and I look forward to working with you.
Skills (2) Rating
Creative Writing
Comedy Writing