25 years as a senior ad copywriter in NY. Doyle Dane, BBDO, Y&R, JWalter. Broadcast/TV/Print. Over 50 awards...5 Clios. Currently have 8 novels on Amazon. Writer of 15 screenplays (4 optioned to film). You want it I can write it. Blogs of 500 to 1000 words... Need something more edgy? A lean into the wind of ingenious to give your Blog a personality?
$125/hr. with a 2 hour minimum for blog posts. And right now you need to book me a week ahead.
Sample Blog excerpt :
I grew up in the Sunset District of San Francisco, above a Tattoo Parlor called Skin Sin. It was my father Abegail’s business. I had a tattoo on my *** six weeks after I got home from the hospital; a
red devil. My dad, Abe, thought it was cool but I think it was one of the reasons my mother, Burle Candida Palameri, ended up putting a .9mm cap in his foot with her Sig. That, and she found him sweaty and ***** with one of our working-girl neighbors bouncing on his dick. A fortunate suzy wong who called herself Regi Rush.
Since my mother was a lawyer she represented herself. She was an impressive and handsome woman, my mother, black, big boned and athletic with a head of wild curls that put her two inches over six feet. But she used a limp as a prop the day she told Judge Margorie Helen Klineman that my father popped her on the knee with a fourteen ounce Louisville Slugger.
The judge closed her eyes and shook her head.
“He’s en evil man, your honor. A man who’s committed unspeakable crimes against women. And I do honestly believe my life was in danger the day I caught him having *** with Miss Rush. That very same night he tried to strangle me and put one of his high speed tattooing needles into my throat. But I broke free and he challenged me to stay or find a permanent spot in his frozen hole. At that moment I knew I had to defend myself or my life would be over. So I put one in his foot to slow him down enough that I could grab my kid and get the hell out of there.”
“I beg your pardon,” Judge Klineman said. “His frozen what?”
“His frozen hole. His burial plot for what he consideres disreputable women. *******, mostly. He picks them up then bores them to death. And that’s not a pun. The hole is out there in the garage. You get to it by moving his steel workbench. There’s a switch on the wall there next to the electric meter looks like part of the plumbing but it moves the bench.
There’s a trap door leads down a good twenty feet to his frozen body locker. It’s where he hides the corpses of his conquests. I thought you guys knew all this? The man’s a serial killer. I figured Miss Rush told you all about him.”
“We haven’t located Miss Rush,” the judge said.
There was a palpable silence in the courtroom. “I was you,” my mother said to the prosecuter, “I’d look in that hole.”
“Balif,” Judge Klineman said. “Take Abegail Palameri into custody. We need to look into these claims.” She aimed a sharp finger at my mother. “And Ms. Palamerie, if we find your story is nothing but a tissue of lies, a fabricated attempt to get back at your husband…I will hold you over for slander.”
“You’re for it now, Aby,” my mother said. “Fifteen bodies in a dead man’s chest…ho, ho, ho, and a bottle of Gentleman Jack…you sicko tattoo freak.”
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Blog: STAY CRISPY OUT THERE. SIDNEY CRIS.