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D.J. Gelner

Freelance Article Writer, Book Writer, & More

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D.J. Gelner - Added portfolio item
An action-packed dinosaur hunt from my novel, "Jesus Was a Time Traveler."
Over 30 days ago -
Fiction Writing portfolio item
D.J. Gelner - Added portfolio item
An excerpt from my novel, "Jesus Was a Time Traveler," where our intrepid (if arrogant) hero meets "Jesus," who's not exactly whom he seems to be...
Over 30 days ago -
Fiction Writing portfolio item
D.J. Gelner - Added portfolio item
An article from insideSTL.com that satirically demonstrates how each game was similar to the one before...and the one before that...and the one before that...
Over 30 days ago -
Comedy Writing portfolio item
D.J. Gelner - Added portfolio item
An article comparing the St. Louis Rams' disastrous 2011 NFL season to some of Bill Murray's greatest work. Originally featured on insideSTL.com.
Over 30 days ago -
Article Writing portfolio item
D.J. Gelner - Added portfolio item
A rant about why I hate the popular drugstore chain Walgreens
Over 30 days ago -
Comedy Writing portfolio item
D.J. Gelner - Added portfolio item
Spec sales letter for the popular book "The Four Hour Work Week"
Over 30 days ago -
Copywriting portfolio item
D.J. Gelner - Modified profile
Update the following profile details: About Me
Over 30 days ago -
John Mahomet - Gave 1 kudo
Said "Best of luck to you." to D.J. Gelner
Over 30 days ago -
D.J. Gelner - Modified profile
Update the following profile details: Website Url and About Me
Over 30 days ago -
D.J. Gelner - Modified profile
Uploaded a new profile photo.
Over 30 days ago -
D.J. Gelner - Modified profile
Upgraded to a Professional membership.
Over 30 days ago -
D.J. Gelner - Modified profile
Joined the Article Writing and Book Writing directories.
Over 30 days ago -
D.J. Gelner - Joined Freelanced.com
Joined the web's largest social network for freelancers!
Over 30 days ago -
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8 Skills
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Article Writing
Book Writing
Blog Writing
Comedy Writing
Fiction Writing
Press Release Writing
Editing
Speech Writing
About Me:
I write things that sell YOUR products: sales letters, ads, brochures and the like. I know that THE KEY to making a sale is making the prospect FEEL something--giving them those butterflies in the stomach, or making them nod along until they're ready to seal the deal with a smile and a firm handshake.

I hammer more peoples' triggers than an army full of medieval crossbowmen, push more hot buttons than an elevator operator in hell.

In many ways, I'm the ultimate modern warrior-poet.

No, not just because I box while reciting "Rime of the Ancient Mariner." I used to be an associate at a large law firm in St. Louis. While there, I was forced to sharpen my words to cut through the feeble rhetoric of the other side, whether it was a well-heeled company or government agency. I used this...
Location
Chesterfield, Missouri, United States