Friends (30)

Dakota Wheatley

Freelance Comedy Writer & Journalistic Writer

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Recent Activity

 
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... ya know what I cant figure out about my life is how I have a wife, a girlfriend and I still have to **********..."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... some one asked me , why don't I get a job, why should I , both my wife and girlfriend have one...."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... this chick I am banging says to me, my husband can be such an *******, I go , yea I know how my brother can be..."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... I don't get the saying "pretty drunk" , I mean every time my girlfriend drinks a lot, she's still ugly... **** every time I drink a lot , she still ugly..."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... I sucked so bad the first time I had ***...its cool tho, my right hand didn't tell anybody"
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke.. I was such a loser growing up that I got pick on before and after school... by my mom"
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... dudes ya know yur to fat when ******* charge double.."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... so I haven't got any in a few weeks... I think my right hand is mad at me"
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... I don't regret any of the chick I have slept with... I just deny a few..."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... skinny people eat fruit... fat people eat fruit pies...."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke.. I didn't know how to break up with my girlfriend... so I had my wife do it for me...."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "my girlfriend makes great money at her job, she's a lawyer, well at least when she is on stage...."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke... my nephew is a mix of white, Indian and Mexican... yep he can own , clean and screw himself out of a casino..."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "new joke.. I have always been fat, I just didn't realize how fat tell I went out to eat the othernite, I order a salad and the waiter asks, are you sure...."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Added portfolio item
I am a very funny and talented comedy writer... I am also trying to get into stand up
Over 30 days ago -
Comedy Writing portfolio item
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "I have never won a foot race in my life, its not because I am fat, its because when the race starts I always end up behind some one going faster then me...."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "my out of town girlfriend calls me lastnite, half way threw are talk , she asks, are you cheating on me with yur ex again, I answer, no, she asks, why do I hear a chick in the background then, I answer, well it anit my ex"
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "I am so excited, I have a new younger brother... yep my sister Amanda finally got a *** change"
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "I say to my wife, I am gona take the only girl I love out tonite, she goes, awww I well be ready around 8, I say , no I meant my girlfriend..."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "so if ya cant tell I don't work out... I eat out...."
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Modified profile
Uploaded a new profile photo.
Over 30 days ago -
John Mahomet - Gave 1 kudo
Said "Best of luck to you ;-)" to Dakota Wheatley
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "http://www.icomedytv.com/i/dakota"
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "so I broke up with my girlfriend the old fashion way... my space"
Over 30 days ago -
Dakota Wheatley - Updated status
Said "chicks yalls boobie powers don't work on me, yall cant get Dakota to do what ya want by showing yur jugs, **** I see some tiitties every time I take my shirt off."
Over 30 days ago -
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2 Skills
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Comedy Writing
Journalistic Writing
About Me:
i am an comedian, check out some of my jokes at facebook , or on my site funnyasfuckcomedy.yolasite.com
Location
Yuma, Arizona, United States